


Theorizing Without Data

by yorkisms



Category: Lazer Team (2015)
Genre: Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Some Cursing, Woody is bi/pan jealous and oblivious, my kids are having a good time now okay, some sexual references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8106685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorkisms/pseuds/yorkisms
Summary: Woody's fine, really. He's fine even though yes, the guy he has a crush on is dating someone else and the only person he feels comfortable talking to is busy with his own high school crush. And that's fine. Woody's fine. (Or, he's not, and Zach and Mindy can tell, dammit.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> “It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.”   
> ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
> 
> Ahh, I'm back in the game with the LT weekly challenge. I had a ton of inspo for this one and the next one, so I'm so beyond ready to post my SHIPPY ones. The next two are shippy. Very. Yes.

Woody Johnson is not a feeler.

At least, he might have been at some point, but now he isn't so much.

If only his feelings would have taken the hint.

It stings, a little, to kind of…watch these things happen around him while he stands still.

A long time ago, Herman had been half-drunk most every night muttering bitterly to him about how he was never, ever to trust one of those god-damn Milford High football jocks, no matter how _nice_ and _kind_ they were; Woody had taken the hint that there was a heartbreak there and nodded and pretended to listen.

And things have changed, now, now Herman's clearly back over the moon and in-love and Woody's…happy for him, really. It's not like Hagan's going to notice unless it hits him in the face, but they're kind of sort of flirting now, Herman loves every minute of it, and it's fine.

Or, it would be, if Woody wasn't being painfully reminded of Herman's little rants about _never let a fucking jock break your heart._

Because suddenly? Being exposed to the disgusting amounts of PDA Zach and Mindy get up to…it stings.

It's kind of sweet, really it is, because it's not like they make out in public- it's more like the simple things. Holding hands, and cuddling, and sometimes Woody's just watching a movie with them and happens to glance over at them and they're kissing and Woody feels bitterness-bordering-on-jealousy pool in the pit of his stomach.

He's not going to let it boil over, but…but Herman isn't around as much as he used to be, and it's not like he can really tell anyone else why he's _jealous_.

It's obvious to him by now what he's feeling.

At least he can eat junk food now.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Zach asks one morning when they're standing in the kitchen- the others have gone out on what's not a date, just a trip to the store ( _not a date, my arse_ , Woody thinks), and Woody pauses, cocking his head.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Dude," Zach says around a mouthful of reheated bacon, "You look every day like someone shat in your cereal."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean you look like you feel fucking rotten! What the fuck's the problem, dude?"

Woody shrugs wordlessly, because he does know, but it's not like he can tell Zach that.

Zach watches him for a while, then shrugs.

"Whatever, dude."

Mindy enters at that moment.

"Hey babe."

She gives him a quick kiss, and Woody looks away.

Zach keeps his eyes on Woody.

"Wait a minute, dude, are you jealous?"

Woody freezes.

"Why would you think tha-"

"Come on, don't play dumbshit with me, I like dudes too. It's not like I'm gonna shove you in a fuckin' locker."

"Maybe," Woody admits. "I am."

"Well come on, why didn't you say so?" Mindy says. Woody blinks, confused.

"What?"

"Why didn't you say so?" Mindy repeats.

"We've been trying to get your attention for weeks."

"Huh?"

"Um, we're not idiots," Zach says, picking up a bacon strip. "We're not assholes, either, you think we're just gonna make you third wheel all the time? Fuck no!"

"What….what are you saying," Woody says, nervously.

Zach and Mindy exchange a look.

"We're saying-"

"Well-"

"We kind of wanna bang you?"

Mindy elbows Zach.

"Ow! We like you, too! Mindy, jeez!"

"He's an idiot," Mindy declares. "But he's my idiot. And if you want…I can share."

She offers him one hand. Without thinking, Woody reaches forwards and takes it. She grins and pulls him closer to them.

"We were hoping you'd say that."

"Hey, get that fuckin' thing out of the way," Zach says softly, before lifting the visor of Woody's helmet, and Woody swears this must be a dream and he's going to wake up any second now, but its real- very real- that Zach is kissing him.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comment/bookmark if you liked, and my tumblr is mttbrand-suffering! I take requests, free for the moment, and trades until I have the ability to properly fix paypal.


End file.
